make-up, heels, "oh no she didnt" does not equal being a woman!!!!

Hey every1...been a while since i distressed..i can feel the knots in my neck.... well let my therapy begin!!!!!

I am a female and sometimes i like to just wear some tracksuits and over sized t-shirt and stay at home and not even do eye liner.....this people is seen as CATASTROPHIC in the eyes of some drag queens and men who believe they were meant to be born as a woman and maybe your feminine gay individual.....

Let me start by saying i have no qualms with the way any of these people decide to live their lives i mean we all human at that end of the day!!!!

lemme explain

I was watching Ricki Lake the other day and it was about fellas who claimed they were meant to be girls and some were gay but preferred dressing in women's' clothing.....cool so far i guess.....but as the show progressed it occurred to me that these 'men' all had the same stereotypical view of what it was to be a woman.
They flicked their weaves, (and lets just say the weaves looked better than some i have seen on real women), snapped their fingers, did the whole 'model walk' in heels that even Victoria Beckham could not manage and talked about "i always knew i was suppose to be a woman because i played with barbie when i was little and spent ages in the bathroom and preferred the bold and the beautiful to power rangers"............WHAT!!!

Us women have a LOT more depth to us than that right????? of course.......Phew AMEN!!!

I know women who don't even know how to apply make up nor do they like it and heels hmmmmmmm forget these girlfriends of mine don't even want to walk around their houses in them talk less of outside.

I most stress that i am not attacking these people on their lifestyle!!!! Its just that it irritates me that in the world we are in today where anything and everything goes that a quick touch of foundation and false nails and you know what its like to be a woman.....these 'guys' actually got at some female audience members about the fact that "you a woman honey, embrace this and use lipstick" how about when women could not get the vote nor could we work, when we were the property of our fathers and then our husbands, when we could not inherit a dime from the father we had looked after when education was not for us because 'women's brains are smaller than men's and they cant retain technical information.'

embracing my femininity is not just about me doing my nails and hair its that i can now go to the same office as men do what they do (may get paid less but at least now i can contest this), i can have a child and a company at the same time, get an education that is not just how to swe this and cook that and sit like this and talk like that.... of course caring about how you look as always been something attributed to women but now its not 'being a woman', its 'attributed' to women its another thing to go with: mother, daughter, period, boss, employee, chat show host, army cadet, menopause, manicure......its no longer our label!!! there were times that if a woman didn't wear jewellery and DESIRE to have an hour glass figure and made sure that her make up was done even before going to the shop around the corner...there was something clearly wrong with her.
don't get me wrong i think looking good is a wonderful thing but trust me feeling good is even more wonderful....don't think that i am someone who does not do these things i do believe me....my make up must be up to par and so must my carefully selected outfit but so does my contract law book and pen and revision cards for my exams.

Women of the world we are always going to be battling to be taken seriously......before we were baby making machines now we are paper that all we can possibly be good at is drawing on that paper every morning and cleaning it every evening so that we ready to start the cycle all over again!!!

Well, ladies, lets draw on that paper in that perfect manner that we have been doing so all these years and pick up those books/briefcases put on our oh so lovely shoes, sweep that hair back and embrace our femininity!!!

nwayz till next time.....Peace, Love and Prosperity

Men are from Mars and Women are from MARS!!!

hey everybody.....my name is Toyosi and i am a blogger-holic lol but seriously i am gettin addicted slightly...nwayz dats not what this blog is about.


why do so many people believe that men and women are so drastically different. aside from our physical differences and a few scientific differences we are actually quiet similar in nature.

lemme explain

the same way that you can get a no good, government dependent, rude, immature, ignorant, needy and unsuccessful man is the same way u can get a no good government dependent, rude, immature, ignorant, needy and unsuccessful woman. women can be gangsters, men can be sluts, women can cheat, men can cheat, women can abandon their children, men can abandon their children. what I'm trying to get at is that both genders need to stop thinking that i can think like a man or woman because that's when things get complicated.

when a man wants to think like a woman then he'll start phoning her 10 times a day thinking that she is thinking that he loves and cares for her so much and always thinking about her but she just wants to get on with her day and stop being bugged by her ringtone and when she wants to think like him she won't call him she'll let him have a week to jam with his boys...she'll be thinking yeah i'm being a good un-clinging girl and he'll appreciate me but really his wondering whats up with her does she not care? is she with another guy? etc etc (i'm sure ya'll confused already just reading this because i am just by typing lol).

4 real though i have thought about this for a while.....a real difference between men and women is what bugs us a woman will ask her man why he does not put the toilet seat down and why he kept disturbing her during her girls shopping day with regular updates of the football (out of excitement) but a man won't say anything about the toilet seat he'll just be putting up with all kind of madness till 1 day he snaps and then starts with 'did i complain when you gained weight?' 'or when your food tasted flat?' or when your sex performance dropped?' see what he complains about and whats she complains about?

men get hurt as well when their girl leaves them or cheats on them they just try to be all together about it and say they cool and all other kinda lies...but his hurting for real and you have some women who leaving their man has no effect on them what so ever she was just with him for money, sex or both she got what she wanted and bounced- typical 'male' mentality right? well yeah course it is because a woman cannot be a player she's a hoe and a man is not a hoe but DA MAN!!! see us as a society created this dumb difference and now that we are trying to get rid of it we get things like if i were a boy, Ms independent, like a boy....blah blah blah

Don't get me wrong i like these songs but they are what i call troops that have come to fight this injustice and division in society.

well i'm sure that there are plenty of people out there who disagree with me but this is just my opinion and well....dats it. :):):)

nwayz till next time...peace, love and prosperity

Afro-Caribbean Parents and their fear of PSYCHOLOGY!!

hey wots up every1..

on 1 particular Saturday a while back i was faced with the most terrifying dilemma i had to tell a Nigerian mother that i believe that there is a possibility her son may be dyslexic plus he may need to see a child physiologists. huh??? i know the boy is only 10!!!

k lemme explain

REWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!!!

i am a part time teacher no i don't wanna teach as a profession (i actually study law) but i some how ended up at this training centre about 3 years ago..nwayz Deji* is such a lovely boy his polite and keeps to himself and not at all disrespectful (1 in a million nowadays right?) well the problem is he knows all the problems that his mum faces. his the youngest in the family all his siblings are in Nigeria and he has never actually met them..father you may ask...no where to be seen is the reply. so his mum really relies on him a lot she'll tell him when she can't afford the bills or got sacked from her job for reason or another or that she just had another argument with his dad, the landlord, her friends, his teachers (I'm sure ya'll see just how much she needs him. what has not and i don't think ever will understand is that her openness with her soon is harming him psychologically. he'll come into class late (she works on Saturdays so as already left before his even awake) no homework completed and hungry as hell as he was rushing to make it to the centre. when he does settle down his mind his on other things and when I asked him "Deji whats up with you now?" he says that he is trying to calculate how he can make it back home on time so he can wash the neighbours car and make money so he needs not bother his mum bout money because she's so busy with other things....i was so shocked the boy just turned 10 and already wants to do what some guys that are 30 are not doing...fend for himself. at such an age i thought there must be other things wrong so my manager and i spoke to him and he was sounding like a grown up behind on mortgage payments...he missed his father and wanted to know his siblings and talk to them.

FAST FORWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!!

so now his mum has been called in and me (being his teacher) has to tell her that not just did we assess her son for dyslexia (which he has) but also he has so much going up in his head that he needs to see a therapist ...WHAT??? OLURUN MAJE (God forbid)!!! was the outburst from his mum. she reassured me that whatever was wrong with him would be beaten out of him by next week...(exactly what i expected). i tried telling her that her son is not mad (which she accused me of implying) but that the boy needs to see a professional and get extra help in school for his dyslexia.
she called Deji into the room and told him to explain why he could not read that at the end of the day everyone in the family could- WTF????? dyslexia is not inherited!!!! by this time i was really feeling sorry for the boy his mum had no clue what all her 'openness' had done to him and how he was forced to be the adult male in her life not her baby that she should be protecting. what she expected from him was now his main concern not his education or focusing in class. he was her husband and son!!! when they left it got me thinking about the fact that why do Afro-Caribbean parents run away from the truth that not all disabilities are physical. they don't understand the notion that what they say to and in front of their kids affects them. i have a Jamaican friend that him and his ex-wife openly argue in front of their daughter and the verbal abuse they use towards each other the daughter (11) picks up on and uses towards others including her parents.
i just wonder why as a group black parents cannot handle the fact that their child/ren may have a learning problem or other mental disabilities that can't be seen and try to help them whichever way possible.

nwayz till next tyme..peace, love and prosperity

Why we (men and women) cheat!!!

Hi everyone, this is my first ever post so forgive me if it is a little bit shaky....the topic of cheating is something which i believe i look at in a different perspective to other women. When friends tell me that their boyfriends have cheated my reply is did he have an affair or a 1 night stand? Of course she looks at me like I'm crazy for asking but i think it is essential to establish this first. With an affair your partner goes out of his or her way to call the person and send them flowers, texts etc...they talk to them about their day and go shopping and go out for meals in other words an affair is calculated and consciously done. Your partner is doing things with their lover that they should or have done with you. there is intimacy and care in an affair. On the other hand there are one night stands. this could have been a drunken mistake, a moment of passion, a burst of anger which that individual allowed them (your partner) to show. when cheating is looked at in this way i say that an affair is what should end the relationship, but of course if your partner is a serial one night stander then you should probably re-evaluate the relationship. There is the 80-20 rule in a relationship....

lemme explain.

you already have 80% of what you are looking for in a partner but the desire for that 20% always lingers in you...so when 20% comes along and curiosity becomes your best friend you may find yourself inching towards it. some may ask why leave 80 for 20 but as the saying goes "curiosity killed the 'relationship'." he or she may have a semi-perfect partner but humans are greedy by nature and want perfection thus ending up cheating.. you now have 100% but from 2 different sources. My rule contradicts the 80-20 rule to an extent..in the sense that you first of all begin by questioning whether or not your served your partner their order....

lemme explain

you may have always gone 2 burger king but at some point in your like you felt for a change and went to KFC ....as one thing that humans like is change, this is not a big problem....lets apply this to a relationship.

Tyrone and Natasha started the relationship with being happy at having sex on Saturday and Tuesday as they were to busy and tired every other day but then Tyrone was getting bored of the repetitiveness of the relationship and felt for a change, he suggested this too Tasha but she still tried to keep to their routine. Along came Elle who offered Ty the avenue to apply his change.... when this was offered to him outside of his relationship he went for it out of curiosity and satisfaction for his new taste buds- remember that what you won't do another woman/man will. don't get it wrong this also applies to women if you serve you partner the wrong dish she will go looking else where.

i believe that in a serious relationship compromising becomes the key to the survival of the relationship..I'm not saying change for your partner just bend a little. By the way cheating is not just a male thing so women need to recognize that we too step out and look for our 20% or our new dish...i think were just more discreet about it and a little more careful.

Nwayz till next time....peace, love and prosperity