is a gamble!!! a gamble that we take and find hard to fold even when we know we should.
well this post will probably be my most personal one so far...
lemme explain
i was dating this guy a while back and i was in love with him and yh i do know what love is :) we were together for almost 2 years but because of certain factors i knew i had to opt out real quick. For instance there was this age gap of 6 yrs which meant that he was becoming ready to settle down and all that but i wasn't... the col thing was that he said he was in no rush but what kind of person would that make e to make him wait. so i stepped out and convinced myself it was the right thing to do and it really was regardless of how much it hurt me :(
well, i got into another relationship afterwards and it wasn't until that one was over that i realised that i used the guy as a rebound guy and well...crap happens right?
Fast forward to where i am now and well i am still back there with the love of my life except in my head. it was talking to a guy friend of mine yesterday who was also having trouble getting over a in your head relationship with his ex that made me realise that no matter what you do or where you go love does not care!! it will be the bitch that slaps you everyday whether you are in a relationship with someone else or not, whether it has been 6 months and you ought to have been over him by now.
Love is Freedom, it knows no boundaries and respects no rules, it makes no division nor does it discriminate. you can be the daughter of a senator and fall in love with a carpenter, love cares not for his occupation and class. So, it then becomes our task to think with our heads rather than our heart, to do what we THINK is the right thing rather than FEEL what is the right thing. It is because of love that some people do stupid things that outsiders cannot believe but i think once love is put in the mix it becomes the strongest emotion that one cannot control no matter how hard we try...so what do we do??
what do we do about something that we don't even mean to do, we fall in love unconsciously, we fall in love without even realising that we are prepared to spend the rest of our days with one person who makes us whole, who just hearing his/her name makes us smile, who just from the sound of your voice knows your moods who is ready to be your friend/lover/confidant/associate/partner all in a heart beat. what do we do when love has taken hold and nothing can be done to break it.
i hear of stories from women and men in their 40s and 50s that re-tell of that one person that they will forever love even though they are married with children, the person that come another lifetime you will do anything just to be with them for 5 minutes.
i have solace in the fact that i have been loved and loved back and that no matter where life takes me and no matter who i meet that reality cannot be taken away from me. i have been loved by a man who because of cultural differences (me 9ja girl, him Ghana guy) was ready to battle with any and everyone for us to be together, who gave his mum that ultimatum, who was ready to fight for our relationship with passion that i regrettably was not able to muster out of FEAR. so is fear the only other emotion that can defeat love, that can make us suppress love and walk away from it??? is it possible that fear can go head to head in a battle with love and come out victorious?? I think not, because it is the love that i have for him that is still current in me rather than the fear of us being together and family members turning against.
'The hottest love has the coldest end.'
Socrates
P.S the colours for this kind of emotion has not been mixed yet, so just gonna go with black)
Peace, Love and Prosperisty!!
